Bookgasm calls it the 100 page rule. SF Signal calls it the 33% Rule.

Everyone has a breaking point. Michael May had his around page 150 of George RR Martin’s A Game of Thrones (one of my favorites, but to each his own). Personally, my bookmark is still lodged on page 180 of Moby Dick where I placed it over ten years ago (although I do intend to finish it “one of these days,” I swear).

I am an avid reader, working through twenty to twenty-five novels in a year and one hundred or so short stories. That said, I acquire my books the old fashioned way: From a reading list as long as my arm (ok, I admit it… longer than my arm). Most of the books on the list are award winners I haven’t gotten around to yet, or considered to be classics within their genre. Some are recommendations from friends, family, and colleagues, while others I have stumbled across and thought “oooo I forgot about this one!” I say this because, usually, I am not going into the books I read blind. I am not a reviewer who reads, essentially, for a living, picking up the latest releast or ARC and hoping for a byline with an early review. I read because I love reading and my books have passed a certain filter just to reach my perception.

In the rare instance that I do come across a book that begins to turn me away, I tend to shift into a different mode of reading, especially if it is a book I am reading for pleasure. I get much more analytical with it. I want to know why it isn’t grabbing me. I want to know the reasons why something strikes me as “bad” or “un-enjoyable” so I can recognize it in my own work.

Which brings us to an interesting point… What if I was a reviewer? What if, for example, I write a review of a book I stopped reading a third of the way in, is it fair for me to review the book? You bet it is. The fact that I stopped reading is a pretty powerful review. Unless the review is a critical analysis of the book, then it is the experience of reading the book that gets reviewed as much as the book itself. That’s all a reviewing is: Being able to elaborate on “I liked/disliked this book (or movie, or computer game, or toaster, or anything else) because…” and then justifying whatever emotional reaction was generated. Anything beyond that is a critical analysis and subject to a whole host of other constraints.

All told, I think I like the 100 Page Rule. Really, if an author hasn’t hooked me by then, the next 200 pages are going to be… difficult at best.

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(originally posted 17 June 2005)

USA Today reports that the NPD Group, a leading market research firm, has reported the favorite snack of children ages 7-12 is fruit. A subsequent study released just hours later confirms that NPD Group employees have no children between the ages of 7 and 12.

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(originally posted on August 12, 2004)

So I had a big update all ready to go and my power went out. This amusing (and true) story will have to suffice for the time being…

I returned from Rochester, NY the other day. Now, the Rochester International Airport isn’t the biggest airport in the world. In fact, it’s surprisingly small for an airport bearing the “International” moniker in it’s handle. Suffice it to say, they can’t afford the big fancy luggage scanners at every ticket counter, so instead they have ATA agents hand search each and every piece of luggage that get’s checked.

Naturally, I am not thinking of this at all as I am packing my bags for my flight home. Included amongst the myriad of socks, boxer shorts, and t-shirts, is a loaf of my sister’s fabulous zuchini bread. Wrapped in tin foil. Stuffed in a zip-lock bag. At the bottom of my suitcase. You can likely see where this is going already.

I am not the greatest traveler in the world. In truth, I am paranoid as hell about missing flights. I missed one once, and it turned into a nightmare, and I simply never want that to happen again. So now I get to the airport at least 2 hours early and just bring a book. I love reading anyway, so I just grab a cup of coffee and relax until my flight. Which is precisely what I did at the Rochester Airport. I arrived a little less than 2 hours before my flight and checked in, dropping off my bag in the line of other bags waiting to be searched.

After heading down to my gate and grabbing a cup of coffee, I settle in and start reading (Wheel of Time, Book 6: Lord of Chaos for those interested). I don’t read more than 2 sentences when over the loudspeaker I hear:

“Will Robb Flynn please come to the United Ticket Counter.”

Being a paranoid traveler, I, of course, begin imagining the worst. Somehow I am being bumped off my flight before it has even arrived at the airport. The flight has been canceled out of Chicago due to rabid Cubs fans storming the airport demanding a trip to the playoffs. They have imposed a height restriction for all passengers, and I need to take the train. Imagine my surprise to arrive at the United Ticket Counter to find not 1… not 2… not even 3… but 4 ATA Agents gathered around my suitcase waiting for me to arrive. I can’t even see my suitcase, to be honest. But I do see my socks, shirts, jeans, and boots laid out on the table around where I assume my suitcase is. The Agent I left the bag with crooks his finger at me and says, “Can you step over here please, Mr. Flynn.”

Pointing inside my suitcase, he asks, “Can you identify that for me please?”

I look to where he is pointing and see my sister’s zucchini bread. Wrapped in tin-foil. Stuffed in a zip-lock bag. I laugh.

“It’s my sister’s zucchini bread! Want a slice?”

Two of the agents start to laugh, one walks away, and “my” agent just sort of smiles and chuckles. “Can you take it out of the tin-foil please?” I do, and show him it really is bread and not a big bag of coke or whatever it was he thought it may be. He smiles, says thank you, and starts re-packing my suitcase. I sit there and watch him put everything back in then head back to the gate to continue my reading.

The story itself is pretty damn funny. But I gotta say, it was pretty dumb of me to pack the bread that way. Kudos to the ATA Agent for handling it the way he did, unlike this schmuck in NJ. It’s a thankless job these guys have, one which likely nets them more grumbling from delayed passengers than pats on the back for keeping us flying safely. And I sure as hell hope he makes more than $6.50 an hour like I did when I was a Supervisor of Security at LAX 10 or so years ago.

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(originally posted 20 September 2004)

Hero (aka Ying xiong)
Cast: Jet Li, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Maggie Cheung, Ziyi Zhang, Daoming Chen, Donnie Yen

Director: Yimou Zhang

Writers: Feng Li, Bin Wang, Yimou Zhang

Other than a couple of raving reviews, I hadn’t heard much of Hero when I went to go see it. After watching it, however, I dug around and read about a dozen or so more reviews, all of which were similar to the first 2. The reviewers raved and raved, gave it the highest possible score, and generally equated this movie to the coming of the messiah. Me, I just don’t get what all the fuss is about.

Hero is the story of Nameless (Jet Li) and his quest to assassinate the most powerful warlord (Daoming Chen) in pre-unified China. Told in flashbacks, the storyline itself was simple enough, made complex by the way in which it was told. An interesting approach, but in the end it fell far short of it’s mark. My general rule of thumb… if your story spends more time talking about the past than it does moving in the present, you are telling the wrong story. It’s a rare film that can successfully get away from this rule, and this film isn’t among the gems that succeed.

While I thought that both the cinemagraphic and digital imagery was gorgeous, I felt like I was being bludgeoned with it. Other than create interesting visuals in a mode not unlike still photography, the vast majority of images did nothing to further or enhance the story and, for me, came off as a director (Yimou Zhang) stroking his own artistic ego. In the end, I felt as if I had been beaten with the imagery stick about the head and shoulders for 2 hours… an altogether unpleasant experience.

The actors had a rough go of it in Hero. Due to the structure of the film, there was very little hope for any of them (aside from Jet Li) to really experience any kind of “journey” or growth. While their performances were all rock solid, I felt that they all came off rather flat and 2 dimensional, ultimately hampered by Zhang’s direction and story structure. Jet Li took a huge risk in accepting this role, as it is nothing like what he has done in the past. Li fans expecting his typical martial arts style film will be sorely disappointed in Hero. I do think, however, that it will open the door for Li to more complex character films in the future, as he does an admirable job as the only character to really develop over the course of the story.

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