For some reason, this six month old news blurb resurfaced recently and got me to thinking about the possibilities and pitfalls of bringing King’s The Dark Tower series to either film or television. Even though I was able to find a statement from Abrams’ people that more news would be forthcoming, there hasn’t been a peep about this project in the last six months.

I’ll start out by saying I am no fan of Abrams. Regardless of his success with Lost (a show I never got into), I don’t think he has the chops to handle something like King successfully. This in no way should reflect upon him, I think, however, because King is a different kind of beast when it comes to making a film or television adaptation. Of all the adaptations that have been attempted, you could count the ones that were successful on one hand, and still have fingers left over.

What makes King so difficult to present on the screen? Primarily, it’s the imagery. With his really strong fiction, he presents a situation with possibilities, then lets the reader scare themselves. His is a personal kind of horror that goes beyond the capabilities of mainstream, commercial Hollywood. Today, Hollywood is all about the quick thrill, and the majority of filmgoers are fine with that. TV is much the same way. At most there will be something plotted out as far as 13 episodes, but in reality they need the first 2 weeks to hook viewers and capture the needed media attention. I call this “Gunshot Production”. It’s loud, it gets attention, and then, by and large, it’s over.

When most people think of a successful King adaptation, they think of The Shining, starring Jack Nicholson and directed by the brilliant Stanley Kubrick. I challenge those who think this, however, to read the book, and then watch the film. Kubrick changed many of the subtle details of the story, including who does or does not die. Most importantly, however, Kubrick spoiled the story by casting Jack Nicholson.

Nicholson is brilliant, and one of my favorite actors, but having him in this role reduces the story to one of exhibition. The mystery of Jack’s devolution is removed completely. Just by having Nicholson on the screen, we know he is going to devolve into a lunatic. The innocence is removed, and it becomes nothing but a vehicle for Nicholson to display his talent at being really creepy. It is a great movie, don’t get me wrong. But it is a terrible adaptation.

If network TV and Film are not the proper venue for an adaptation of The Dark Tower, then what is? An HBO or Cinemax series, I think, are the only hope of something of this scope having an opportunity to be successful. Something along the lines of Deadwood meets Dr. Who meets… I don’t know something fantastic I can’t think of at the moment. Here is where a commitment could be made to really explore the books. Anything less than a committed story arc spanning an entire season simply wouldn’t be able to do the books justice.

That said, I don’t think I can stress enough how poor a choice JJ Abrams would be to handle something like this. Granted he has a ton of industry experience, but I just don’t see any evidence on his resume that he would be able to provide the kind of psychological manipulation needed to pull it off. There needs to be a constant through line that holds each and every episode together. Too often has Abrams allowed his series’ to wander off course, relying upon the “oh yeah!” factor to pull his viewers back to the primary storyline. That kind of neglect with The Dark Tower would dissipate the psychological imperatives so prevalent in each and every page of King’s opus.

Who would I like to see direct? First choice, and for obvious reasons, would be Tim Burton. I think he, more than any other director, could focus on the psychological development and imagery needed for an adaptation. His favorite themes of self-discovery and family, and the almost inherent gothic nature of everything he does would work marvelously with a well-penned script.

Second choice… honestly I don’t know. And don’t even get me started on actors. Likely, whoever is cast wouldn’t match the Roland of my minds eye, but that is the case with any adaptation, really. King especially, though, leaves so much up to the reader, that trying to make a literal, visual translation of his work is the primary reason so many of his adaptations… well… in a word… suck.

(*thread title shamelessly purloined from Robert Browning’s 1855 epic poem “Childe Roland,” upon which King based the series. If you haven’t read it, visit the official The Dark Tower website and give it a gander. I wager you’ll be glad you did.)

• » Comments (2)

(originally posted 21 Jan 2007 - this version slightly edited)

Title: The Android’s Dream

Author: John Scalzi

Publisher: Tor

Year: 2006

A friend of mine has been talking up John Scalzi to me for a while now. I had gone so far as to become a daily reader of his blog (currently on hiatus, but you can visit him here and here) and move his books towards the middle of my (way too long) to-read list, but hadn’t yet actually bought one of his books. Well, my buddy took matters into his own hands and got me The Android’s Dream for Christmas. And thank-you-very-much I am so glad he did.

With a wonderful mixture of humor, action, and political intrigue, Scalzi took me on a ride I’ll not soon forget. With alien races, interplanetary governmental bodies, and advanced genetic manipulation, the potential for a “Hard Science” story was tremendous. I was greatly relieved to discover, however, that The Android’s Dream is not a heavy handed trip to a potential future. Rather, it’s a story that uses the future, and future technology as a setting. Hard science fiction just isn’t my thing, primarily, I think, because I am more of a humanist than a scientist. I understand the basics, and the always familiar tropes of the genre, but generally speaking it is easy for me to adopt a “willing suspension of disbelief.” Why or how something happens doesn’t interest me nearly as much as who is causing it, who it is affecting, and how people are going to deal with it.

So, thankfully for me, The Android’s Dream happens in, around, and some times, it seems, in spite of the technology. Regardless, by the end of the first chapter, I knew I was hooked not just on The Android’s Dream, but on Scalzi in general. His characters are so well developed that I found I had emotional stake riding on their shoulders (or, in one specific case, so intentionally vague that gender becomes a wonderfully unresolved issue). Hero or villain, I cared about what was happening not only to the major players in his story, but the secondary and minor characters as well. His writing is crisp and purposeful, telling the story the way the story wants to be told and not forcing it along for an easy laugh.

My one and only wish is that I listened to my friend a year ago so that I could have more Scalzi in my library today. As it is, his past books, specifically the Old Man’s War series I have heard so much about, have jumped much closer to the top of The List™.

• » Comments (1)

Just a quick update on the plans I have for the website. Mostly I have been working on backend and design stuff the past couple of weeks which has, by and large, now been completed. On to the content!

The first major addition will be the return of the online photo album. I am likely going to be switching over to Coppermine, as I grew extremely tired of wrestling with Gallery. Hopefully it will prove to be less of a hassle.

Once that has been installed and populated, I’ll be working on returning the PMHS pages to new found glory for the Class of ‘85 (Go Vikings!). Even though I now work for a rival HS here in town, I’ll do my best to remain unbiased in the presentation.

Lastly, I want to try and find some sort of monitoring/statistical package I can install on the site. My web host has one built in, but I need to upgrade packages to use it and right now I don’t want to do that. Anyone have any suggestions? By the way, one of these days I am going to put a call out to de-lurk and register, especially if you subscribe to the RSS feed. I have no idea if anyone besides Sangi and Nick even visit me here in my little corner of the web.

Realistically, that right there should take me the rest of the year, unless I am seriously misjudging the lack of free time I am going to be having between work and grad school. I have plans beyond those 2 projects as well, but things change so fast with technology I won’t even bother announcing them until I am about to push them live, sometime next spring.

So hang in there. Lots more stuff coming down the pike, and I’ll still be posting during the school year as well.

• » Comments (1)

(originally posted 07 January 2007)

Title: The Da Vinci Code

Author: Dan Brown

Publisher: Doubleday

Year: 2003

I had been avoiding Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code like the plague. I knew the basic premise, and it just didn’t interest me in the least. I assumed that all the buzz and all the controversy surrounding it stemmed from the fact that it dealt with religion and politics, two subjects that, when mixed, I generally regard with unfavorable suspicion. In fact, from what I had been told about the book, I was pretty sure that Brown was shooting for that controversy in order to prod the sales of his book. For once, it appears I assumed correctly. Not only that, it appears that Brown was relying on that controversy to hide his formulaic 450 page chase scene.

Before I go any further, let me be clear that I enjoyed The Da Vinci Code. It was a fun, fast read that required little to no thought about plot or character development. It was entertaining, and that is, in the end, what a work of fiction is supposed to be. For me, however, it didn’t shed new light upon long-hidden mysteries, or reveal hidden secrets of religious puppeteers, or expose the previously unknown genius of Leonardo Da Vinci. It was a check-your-brain-at-the-door romp through the French and English countryside that needed a sign on the backflap that read “You must be this tall to read this book” with a Kangaroo measuring a teenager with his tail.

For when viewed in this light, The Da Vinci Code succeeds, and succeeds mightily. Brown follows the thriller formula rigidly, providing reader-solvable puzzles side-by-side with shocking character revelations all while moving at break-neck speed in the obligatory never-ending chase scene. Aside from that, however, there is nothing much complimentary to say about it.

When Brown makes an effort to step outside his formula, his narration fails miserably. His characters are incomplete, with any potential journey or growth they may undertake playing second fiddle to The Puzzle. Brown focuses so much upon his mystery, and so little upon his characters, that it is difficult to generate any kind of affinity for the primary characters. Their actions come across as contrived, as it becomes evident that they are merely in place to support the unraveling of his puzzle in the most entertaining yet formulaic means possible.

In the end, The Da Vinci Code is an average story. It isn’t horrible, by any means, but neither is it ground-breaking or refreshing. More importantly, it is a work of fiction that, as far as I can tell from my laymans perspective, makes a good deal of assumptions (and takes more than a few genuine leaps of faith) as far as religious and political theories are concerned. It’s a good book, but I certainly wouldn’t consider it recommended reading by any stretch of the imagination.

• » Comments (3)