For some reason, this six month old news blurb resurfaced recently and got me to thinking about the possibilities and pitfalls of bringing King’s The Dark Tower series to either film or television. Even though I was able to find a statement from Abrams’ people that more news would be forthcoming, there hasn’t been a peep about this project in the last six months.

I’ll start out by saying I am no fan of Abrams. Regardless of his success with Lost (a show I never got into), I don’t think he has the chops to handle something like King successfully. This in no way should reflect upon him, I think, however, because King is a different kind of beast when it comes to making a film or television adaptation. Of all the adaptations that have been attempted, you could count the ones that were successful on one hand, and still have fingers left over.

What makes King so difficult to present on the screen? Primarily, it’s the imagery. With his really strong fiction, he presents a situation with possibilities, then lets the reader scare themselves. His is a personal kind of horror that goes beyond the capabilities of mainstream, commercial Hollywood. Today, Hollywood is all about the quick thrill, and the majority of filmgoers are fine with that. TV is much the same way. At most there will be something plotted out as far as 13 episodes, but in reality they need the first 2 weeks to hook viewers and capture the needed media attention. I call this “Gunshot Production”. It’s loud, it gets attention, and then, by and large, it’s over.

When most people think of a successful King adaptation, they think of The Shining, starring Jack Nicholson and directed by the brilliant Stanley Kubrick. I challenge those who think this, however, to read the book, and then watch the film. Kubrick changed many of the subtle details of the story, including who does or does not die. Most importantly, however, Kubrick spoiled the story by casting Jack Nicholson.

Nicholson is brilliant, and one of my favorite actors, but having him in this role reduces the story to one of exhibition. The mystery of Jack’s devolution is removed completely. Just by having Nicholson on the screen, we know he is going to devolve into a lunatic. The innocence is removed, and it becomes nothing but a vehicle for Nicholson to display his talent at being really creepy. It is a great movie, don’t get me wrong. But it is a terrible adaptation.

If network TV and Film are not the proper venue for an adaptation of The Dark Tower, then what is? An HBO or Cinemax series, I think, are the only hope of something of this scope having an opportunity to be successful. Something along the lines of Deadwood meets Dr. Who meets… I don’t know something fantastic I can’t think of at the moment. Here is where a commitment could be made to really explore the books. Anything less than a committed story arc spanning an entire season simply wouldn’t be able to do the books justice.

That said, I don’t think I can stress enough how poor a choice JJ Abrams would be to handle something like this. Granted he has a ton of industry experience, but I just don’t see any evidence on his resume that he would be able to provide the kind of psychological manipulation needed to pull it off. There needs to be a constant through line that holds each and every episode together. Too often has Abrams allowed his series’ to wander off course, relying upon the “oh yeah!” factor to pull his viewers back to the primary storyline. That kind of neglect with The Dark Tower would dissipate the psychological imperatives so prevalent in each and every page of King’s opus.

Who would I like to see direct? First choice, and for obvious reasons, would be Tim Burton. I think he, more than any other director, could focus on the psychological development and imagery needed for an adaptation. His favorite themes of self-discovery and family, and the almost inherent gothic nature of everything he does would work marvelously with a well-penned script.

Second choice… honestly I don’t know. And don’t even get me started on actors. Likely, whoever is cast wouldn’t match the Roland of my minds eye, but that is the case with any adaptation, really. King especially, though, leaves so much up to the reader, that trying to make a literal, visual translation of his work is the primary reason so many of his adaptations… well… in a word… suck.

(*thread title shamelessly purloined from Robert Browning’s 1855 epic poem “Childe Roland,” upon which King based the series. If you haven’t read it, visit the official The Dark Tower website and give it a gander. I wager you’ll be glad you did.)